Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize