Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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