that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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