if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
