I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
