I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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