Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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