i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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