I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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