I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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