yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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