we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
