Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
