i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
