Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize