I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i came on her dog
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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