I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i believe in u and ur pee
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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