Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
