while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
