Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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