i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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