honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
