I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
