You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
