those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
