you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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