woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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