Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
