im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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