hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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