Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
