So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
