The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The power of my boobs compel you
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize