I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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