so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
