It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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