Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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