Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
