no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
