is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
