You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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