True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
