you would pick up someone in the library
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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