I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
