Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
