You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
