a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
