why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
