I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
