apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
