Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
