is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
