I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
