Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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