we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
