So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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