Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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