my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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