i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize