I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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