I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
