remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
