ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
