Will you blow on my dice?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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