So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
