wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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