I will die if light touches me.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
