The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
