i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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