So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
